What is the INTJ Stare?
What is the INTJ Stare?
For many of us, staring for more than five seconds, whether at a person or an object, is off-putting, strange, and often rude. In movies, characters that stare are often crazy weirdos, stalkers, or serial killers. However, for an INTJ personality type, staring intensely is just one of their many traits; a trait that happens subconsciously, usually without the INTJ being aware of it.
We also tend to associate staring at the floor or staring at the wall with depression and sadness, which explains why INTJs report feeling frustrated at people always asking what is wrong and why they look sad.
The INTJ stare is also often misunderstood as meaning the INTJ is angry or uninterested. Although it can be negative, which is why some call it the “death stare,” typically, it means that the INTJ has been overcome by their thoughts.
Why do INTJs stare?
INTJ thinking is dominated by introverted intuition, which means INTJs like to think deeply, contemplate the possibilities, and try to foresee outcomes. Typical questions on INTJs’ minds are: What is really going on here? Why is it the way it is? And, what would happen if…?
INTJs’ introverted intuition means they typically focus inwards with their thoughts, into their own worlds, which is often what’s happening when INTJs are staring intensely. In a sense, they’re daydreaming or “out to lunch.”
The INTJ stare is also caused by the lack of extroverted sensing in their thinking process. Personalities with extroverted sensing as their dominant thinking process live in the moment and receive great pleasure from their physical surroundings. However, for INTJs, the opposite is true.
INTJs become bored quickly if their intellect isn’t engaged. They don't see much point in making small talk or partaking in trivial activities. If their surroundings aren’t engaging enough, their own thoughts begin to dominate as they look for stimulation from within, which results in the INTJ stare.
INTJs are also averse to showing emotion, especially in public and in front of strangers. They don't like emotional outbursts or confrontation, which means “the death stare” is often how they express frustration, disappointment, or disbelief.
Deep in thought
INTJs typically have a lot on their minds. They’re problem solvers that like to have everything figured out. If an issue is unresolved, and the present situation doesn't command their attention, you’ll often find an INTJ staring off into the distance.
Daydreaming is typical for a lot of personalities, but with INTJs, it’s the intensity of the stare that stands out. Depending on what they’re thinking about, INTJs can show a lot of emotion on their face while staring.
INTJs may also stare at people while in deep thought; however, they’re usually unaware that they’re doing so. They don't mean any offense; they’re just engrossed in their thoughts.
Depending on the mood and thoughts of the INTJ, if possible, it’s usually best not to interrupt them when they’re thinking deeply. Like being woken suddenly, it can be jarring for an INTJ to have their thinking process interrupted, and could evoke the dreaded “death stare.”
The “death stare”
As discussed above, INTJs don't like emotional outbursts and feel awkward about showing emotions. Instead of voicing their feelings or getting physical, when an INTJ is frustrated, disappointed, disgusted, or in disbelief, they typically react with an intense stare.
Unlike the thinking stare, which tends to be a blank but intense look, when the INTJ is unhappy, you’ll be able to see it on their face. The “death stare ” is perhaps exaggerated, but the stare is obvious and has been likened to a predator about to attack.
The INTJ stare is also not necessarily without words, but the stare is the initial response. INTJs have a strong set of values and ethics. If you have crossed a line, an INTJ is usually keen to explain why what you did is not acceptable to them.
The “death stare” can also manifest as a warning. An INTJ may use the stare to tell you to back off or else, or even if they’re just sick of listening to you.
Boredom
INTJs like to be intellectually stimulated. If two people are talking and an INTJ isn’t interested in what they’re saying, you may notice an INTJ blankly staring. It doesn't necessarily mean they’re done with the conversation; they’re probably thinking about how to change the topic.
Also, INTJs tend to prefer to stay home or spend time with a few close friends rather than socializing in large groups or at a party with strangers.
If an INTJ isn't interested or feeling a connection, or if they feel isolated, they often turn inward to escape their surroundings. So, if you see a person alone at a party, staring blankly, there's a good chance they’re an INTJ wishing they were at home instead.
Fascination
Complicating things a little, an INTJ stare can also mean they are fascinated by what you’re saying. The INTJ stare in this situation is a massive compliment. It can be difficult to engage an INTJ, so when it happens, the INTJ will often remember the person who interested them and be keen to talk again the next time they meet.
INTJs like to meet interesting people with new ideas who pique their curiosity. The staring can be intense but it indicates their attention and focus on what’s being discussed. The INTJ is likely to be listening intently while processing a range of ideas and thoughts.
The INTJ stare can be off-putting, but hopefully you understand it better now. If you’re an INTJ, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about; it means you’re a thoughtful person, happy in your own company.
